Today has been one of those days, nothing amazingly unusual has happened* but everything has been decidedly unusual. That sounds cryptic I realise, so I’ll explain; today was the King Island show, where people set up stalls selling cakes, jewellery and face painting, there are some showgirl/boy competitions and people come and get their cows judged. The college was running the face painting. The weather was very windy and threatening to rain. None of this, as I have said, is even vaguely remarkable. However 30 minutes ago the cloud suddenly left, just as the sun was setting. Now just after we had arrived back the rain had started, and the ground and air was still heavy with the moisture. This brought on one of those weird environments where everything is bright orange, smells funny and is deadly quiet. Weird really is the central concept I’m thinking of here. I thought the unusual light may make for some good photos so I borrowed Brian’s shoes (mine were left in the porch, but got drenched by unexpectedly horizontal rain) and headed to the lookout, a place at the top of the mine cliffs that offers a brilliant shot of Grassy harbour and the southern end of King Island. Coming the other way as i headed through Grassy was a van that had broken down, and, having no rope available, his mate was simply pushing him with the front end of his own Ute (pick-up truck) causing no small amount of damage to both cars. It was at this point and realised how surreal everything was, the environment was, in a word, weird. I was watching one man repeatedly and intentionally rear end his friend up a hill surrounded by wallabies that, for some reason become very bold after rain. Then I realised I had my face painted to look like a pink bunny rabbit, wearing a cowboy hat, and wearing shoes too big for me. The point I’m trying to get across is that, as a result of no unusual occurrence, I was in a situation where the surrealism of my surroundings was outstanding, and i reckon that is why I haven’t been blogging.
I have done interesting and cool things in Australia, take, for example, the Jetty jump. This is where all the kids put on wetsuits, head down to the harbour and leap into the same body of water as a large stingray which they can’t see. All of the people that read this blog know what salt water feels like; they know what a jetty is and would easily recognise a 15 year old if they saw one. They could even recognise a stingray, but can’t see one, much as we couldn’t. Though this was enjoyable, I will remember it, and when people in future ask me about what i did in Australia, I’ll be able to mention the Jetty jump. What is harder to explain, and I won’t remember is the atmosphere that pervaded the air and the stirring surrealism that shocked me into action in that one moment when I was wearing unnecessarily large shoes, painted as a rabbit with leprosy watching one Ozzy rear end his mate up a hill, and the point at which we both shared glances which said quite clearly ‘what the fuck are you doing?’
If you would like a timetable of what i have done in Australia, i can photocopy the one I’ve been given by my boss, but if you wish to read of my experiences, be prepared for some more decidedly strange thoughts and antics.
* as a pose to yesterday, when 200 whales beached 20km away from me, and I was unable to do anything to help as I had been forgotten in the rush generated by moving 50 children plus staff down to said beach to rescue said whales.
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Sunday, 30 November 2008
A Ponderance: Chillis
Chillis are hot, i found this out as a young 'en when i asked my mum what this red powder is, she said lick your finger, stick it in the jar, then lick it again. Typically reluctant to do anything by halves, i used a teaspoon instead. i still have the burns :(
However, Chillis developed those hot little seeds to stop animals eating them, if you go by evolution, and i do. Cows would eat chillis, then run around in pain, and learn not to do it again. Chillis could then grow without fear of cows. However humans seem to like the burning pain conjured by chillis, and so we eat them purposefully because of the trait they developed to stop getting eaten, meaning that technique has not been totally succesful. However because humans like chillis, we farm them, we plant little chilli seeds and sell the chillis all over the world to other lovers of pain. Therefore there are now lots more chilli plants than there ever would have been if we didnt like them.
The big question this poses, is did chillis failure inadvertently act as more of a success as success would have done? or were humans part of the chillis plan for world domination? i mean, cows dont like chillis, but then cows dont have the capability of farming chillis. Neither do any other herbivores on the planet. Only humans have the capabilities of farming chillis, and only we enjoy the taste of chillis.
However, Chillis developed those hot little seeds to stop animals eating them, if you go by evolution, and i do. Cows would eat chillis, then run around in pain, and learn not to do it again. Chillis could then grow without fear of cows. However humans seem to like the burning pain conjured by chillis, and so we eat them purposefully because of the trait they developed to stop getting eaten, meaning that technique has not been totally succesful. However because humans like chillis, we farm them, we plant little chilli seeds and sell the chillis all over the world to other lovers of pain. Therefore there are now lots more chilli plants than there ever would have been if we didnt like them.
The big question this poses, is did chillis failure inadvertently act as more of a success as success would have done? or were humans part of the chillis plan for world domination? i mean, cows dont like chillis, but then cows dont have the capability of farming chillis. Neither do any other herbivores on the planet. Only humans have the capabilities of farming chillis, and only we enjoy the taste of chillis.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Mercilessly dull
So, back in June, when i started planning to go to Australia i decided to do a blog, and here, on November 26th (just) is said blog. The more pedantic readers may raise the issue that it should not take the best part of 6 months to start a blog. In short, yes it should, provided you are lazy, and i am very lazy.
Because of this, this first post is just going to cover all of the preparation i've gone through in the last 6 months, working, saving money, filling out forms and paying out aforementioned money. If you look in the dictionary for any of these words; 'boredom' 'monotony' and 'suicide', you may well find it has links to those things iv spent the last 6 months doing. So I am afraid this first blog is unlikely to have you on the edge of your seat sweating pure adrenaline. However i will be keeping it up when i'm in actual Australia, so with any luck, it will get a little more exciting.
The reason i started with the whole gap year idea was as a result of an email my dad recieved, advertising the job of a student voice representative. The post involved driving up and down the country to different schools trying to get the little ratbags therein to form student councils that liaise directly with the school itself so they could improve their performance. I applied for the job, and was never contacted again by the employers. However in the weeks i had be waiting for the reply, i'd become so unknowingly enthralled by the idea of a gap year i just couldn't stomach the idea of going to university. I necessarily had to take a year out, and so i started looking around at what was available.
That was when i found lattitude(http://www.lattitude.or.uk/), a company running gap year programs. I saw the position in Australia and what really attracted me to it was the simple fact, i could get no further from home, any further and i'd start getting closer again. This is the single biggest influence, though of course the weather and style of life did little to put me off. The charm is simply that there was no chance of getting a parental bail-out when im there, i can't go out, get drunk and get a lift home at 3 in the morning, and thats a real charm.
So, with that agreed upon, all i needed then was many times more cash than i have ever owned in my entire life. I already had a job as a receptionist at a travelodge hotel and my boss of the time promised me all the shifts i could handle, the only slight problem with this was that he lies. Don't be decieved by the fact this guy was a mere hotel manager, he had a PHD, he could also speak Chinese fluently, he had been offered many times, high ranking jobs in the medical proffession which he had turned down for hotel work because he liked it and he was most definately NOT having a relationship with the assistant manager. All of this was utter fantasy, and the concept that he could get me paid on time, let alone extra shifts was laughable. I started taking on any covering shifts i could get, working at a total of 7 travelodges in my area. I managed to get a permenant placement covering for a guy on long term sick at mansfield travelodge, which, coincidentially is where i am now.
I have managed to save up enough cash to pay for me to go to, stay in then leave Australia, with some left over for spending money. There isn't as much as i would have liked, though thats pretty much universal, as i was considering continuing travelling after the gap year, as i have 2 months between the end of the placement and the beginning of my time at Keele university, where i have a politics and philosophy course waiting with open arms. though i am considerably less keen to see it.
That has been a brief overview of the most dull (and therefore most important) events in the past 6 months. I intend to add a new post every week from now on, provided the week is interesting enough, if you've read this far, congratulations.
Because of this, this first post is just going to cover all of the preparation i've gone through in the last 6 months, working, saving money, filling out forms and paying out aforementioned money. If you look in the dictionary for any of these words; 'boredom' 'monotony' and 'suicide', you may well find it has links to those things iv spent the last 6 months doing. So I am afraid this first blog is unlikely to have you on the edge of your seat sweating pure adrenaline. However i will be keeping it up when i'm in actual Australia, so with any luck, it will get a little more exciting.
The reason i started with the whole gap year idea was as a result of an email my dad recieved, advertising the job of a student voice representative. The post involved driving up and down the country to different schools trying to get the little ratbags therein to form student councils that liaise directly with the school itself so they could improve their performance. I applied for the job, and was never contacted again by the employers. However in the weeks i had be waiting for the reply, i'd become so unknowingly enthralled by the idea of a gap year i just couldn't stomach the idea of going to university. I necessarily had to take a year out, and so i started looking around at what was available.
That was when i found lattitude(http://www.lattitude.or.uk/), a company running gap year programs. I saw the position in Australia and what really attracted me to it was the simple fact, i could get no further from home, any further and i'd start getting closer again. This is the single biggest influence, though of course the weather and style of life did little to put me off. The charm is simply that there was no chance of getting a parental bail-out when im there, i can't go out, get drunk and get a lift home at 3 in the morning, and thats a real charm.
So, with that agreed upon, all i needed then was many times more cash than i have ever owned in my entire life. I already had a job as a receptionist at a travelodge hotel and my boss of the time promised me all the shifts i could handle, the only slight problem with this was that he lies. Don't be decieved by the fact this guy was a mere hotel manager, he had a PHD, he could also speak Chinese fluently, he had been offered many times, high ranking jobs in the medical proffession which he had turned down for hotel work because he liked it and he was most definately NOT having a relationship with the assistant manager. All of this was utter fantasy, and the concept that he could get me paid on time, let alone extra shifts was laughable. I started taking on any covering shifts i could get, working at a total of 7 travelodges in my area. I managed to get a permenant placement covering for a guy on long term sick at mansfield travelodge, which, coincidentially is where i am now.
I have managed to save up enough cash to pay for me to go to, stay in then leave Australia, with some left over for spending money. There isn't as much as i would have liked, though thats pretty much universal, as i was considering continuing travelling after the gap year, as i have 2 months between the end of the placement and the beginning of my time at Keele university, where i have a politics and philosophy course waiting with open arms. though i am considerably less keen to see it.
That has been a brief overview of the most dull (and therefore most important) events in the past 6 months. I intend to add a new post every week from now on, provided the week is interesting enough, if you've read this far, congratulations.
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